Friday, December 28, 2001

Hi, everyone. I hope you’re enjoying happy holidays. I’ve been on vacation in Alabama and Florida these past few days, and won’t return to NC until the 30th of January. However, I’ve managed to get online here at my in-laws, so here’s a quick journal entry.

I’ve had some time now (almost a week) to think about last week’s first try back at work. One of the most significant changes I see is not in the environment or the people I’m with, but in my attitude towards the job and the customers. When I was originally dancing, it was a new and exciting endeavor. Something I’d always wanted to do but hadn’t had the courage or means up to then. As a result, my attitude three years ago was one of initial discovery. The job was also a high professional risk (and still is, but to a lesser extent), and this danger made it all the more exciting to me. The costumes were all new, as were the moves.

Now, I’m comfortable in the shoes, the costumes, and the makeup. I know pretty much how to get along with the other dancers (smile and, when in doubt, keep your mouth shut). What interests me now is how I’m responding to the things around me. One thing I’m realizing is that I’m much less tolerant of customers who just “want to sit and talk.” At this point, I’m looking more for money than for sparkling conversation. And I’ve finally figured out that the command, “Try me again in 15 minutes,” in response to my offer of a dance is less a sincere suggestion than a cowardly “no.” I am also more wary of sitting with really young guys. Even though they are fun to joke with, they rarely buy dances from women my age, preferring the partying girls of 18-25. My attitude toward the club management and staff is different now too. I try to encourage the customers to buy a neck and shoulder rub from the massage girl, get some shooters, tip the dancers on stage, or even buy a dance from a competitor. Maybe it’s an unfulfilled maternal instinct coming out that I’m trying to look out for all the other folks busting their asses to make some money.

Something that took me a few days to rediscover of was all those patented stripper moves. I had forgotten how hard those ab muscles had to work to get the rolling motion from the chest all the way through the legs. Here’s a tip: if you’re worried about cellulite on your butt or thighs, then when you’re in profile on the stage, always keep the leg toward the audience bent somewhat. The more tense and contracted your butt is, the more the cellulite will show. Sigh. I did try a few swings around the pole Wednesday, and have the bruises to show for it on the inside of my left knee. Maybe I’ll keep that to a minimum next week.

I’ve gotten some really nice emails, mostly from new and aspiring dancers. Keep the mail coming! And don’t forget to sign my guest book (link at the very bottom of this page).

Happy New Year,
Diana

Friday, December 21, 2001

It's Friday and I have a day off after three days of dancing in a row. (Well, I really have ten days off--I'll be traveling for the holidays.) Regardless of whether it is one or ten, I will need all the time I can get to RECOVER. My feet are killing me, my eyes are puffy, my brain is asleep, and I have a ton of laundry to do that smells disgustingly of smoke. Since starting this job Saturday night, I've averaged a take-home amount of about $98/day. That is decent, I suppose, for 7.5 hours' work. I have many stories to share, but since my creative juices aren't flowing that well today, I'd like to post some questions I received, along with some of my reply. Perhaps this will be of interest to others. (I'd also like to thank Alysabeth here for inserting a link to my site from hers, The Feminist Stripper Site. Please give her a visit--her link has also been listed below under my favorites for several days now.)

"Ask Diana" (diana_dances@hotmail.com):
Stephanie asks if starting out as a dancer at 24 or 25 is too old, and also wonders if stripping would be a way to get some quick money for school and savings.
If you are 24 or 25 when you start, you'll do just fine! I'm going to do a journal about the different age-sets of strippers and what they seem to offer customers, so stay tuned. ... Now, about the "quick money": I think the media overestimates the amount that strippers get paid. Strikingly sexy strippers sometimes still only
take home $16 on a bad night. And you don't start getting big bucks until you have cultivated some regular customers who will buy private dances often. So, I'm not sure that the income generated plus the extreme exhaustion you may undergo will be conducive to your law school work! However, if you do this BEFORE law school, give yourself at least three months to work up a clientele and get into a steady earning area. Lots of girls I work with set a money goal for the night. Knowing they're behind it makes them hustle a little more energetically, and once they pass it, they can sit, relax, and chat with customers who may not ever buy a dance, but are nice folks.


I think it's time for my nap...
Thanks for reading and keep those questions coming.
-Diana

Monday, December 17, 2001

Later Monday Evening...
I went back to our local Adam & Eve store to use my store credit from the falling apart velvet shorts and corset set. I bought a little Christmas babydoll with maribou trim which I hope to wear tomorrow night at work at least part of the night. Adam & Eve doesn't sell it online (that I could tell from their website), but you can order it here: www.wildsyde.com. Below is their advertising picture of it; Shirley's of Hollywood is the maker. Of course, I am NOT the gal in the picture. I repeat, the gal in the photo is NOT ME. I'm not sure what size she is wearing because I fill the Medium nicely--and I am only a 34B.

The woman in the picture above is not me. I do not know her.
But she is right perty, idnt she?

I'm going to scare up some Christmas ribbon to tie in my hair, and we'll see how it goes tomorrow night. If anyone would like to sit, chat, and buy a $10 table dance or a $25 champagne-room dance from me, please come to Pure Gold in Cary between 4:30 and midnight!

Thanks for checking in on the guest book, folks! I'm so excited that things are finally moving along here. I'll try to get a picture of myself up soon, but can't be too careful about people recognizing me...

Write me!
-Diana
More Thoughts on the First Night Back
Some of you may be thinking that a dancer is crazy to give back almost half her earnings for the “privilege” of dancing topless eight hours for horny guys. I guess the short answer is, yes, some of us are crazy. But I’m sane enough to give the weeknights a try now and see how it goes with the smaller lease fee. Plus, I can leave at midnight, and therefore get in bed before 4:30am, which was the case last Saturday night (Sunday morning).

I had close encounters with the laws on Saturday night, as did all the dancers (and the club management). It is illegal in North Carolina to simulate sexual acts, touch your nipples, genital, or anal areas, or to show any pubic hair (that last one is kind of a mystery to me). It is also illegal (although I can’t remember seeing this written anywhere) to touch the customers while you are topless. Well this rule obviously is broken in every topless club across America. However, I think there’s latitude when a dancer needs to steady herself on shoulders, knees, or arms of her customer. “Inappropriate touching” is what is prohibited. So, anyway, an ALE agent (alcohol law enforcement—the NC arm that enforces liquor laws) was in the club Saturday night, studying the champagne room activity, which involves decidedly more contact than the regular floor table dances. I was super paranoid (although I was only giving floor dances), and so was very careful not to touch a fellow except when absolutely necessary. This was difficult in some situations, though, tight spots on the floor—accidental brushes—etc. But I ended up feeling like the dancers who offered more contact were giving more dances and thus earning more money…which I’m sure is the case everywhere. The good girl’s complaint, I guess.

Future topics—dancing styles; stage show; stage tipping; pricing your dances; spending time with customers; cultivating “regulars”; dealing with other dancers; getting customers into the champagne room; razor bumps; stage names. I’d love to hear your ideas about these topics (or suggest some!) beforehand to help me write up a good report.

“Ask Diana (diana_dances@hotmail.com):”
Someone e-mailed me finally!!

Chasidy asks, “How long did it take you to get the hang of pole tricks, if you do any?”
Chasidy, thanks for your email! I used to do lots of swinging around the pole. Since I’ve been back, I’ve only used the pole to balance when I kick, or to do turns around it, or to lean against. As soon as I can, I’m going to do what I did when I first started years ago: find a time when there are no customers (?) or when the club is closed, and practice. As you work, be watching the tricks the other girls do and ask them to show you how after closing or before opening. It takes some guts to get started, and you WILL bruise your legs and whatever else bangs against the pole from time to time. One girl broke her arm several years ago in a fall. If you want to be able to pull your legs up over your head and go upside down, you need to have super-strong ab muscles, particularly the lower abs, so start your ab workout if you don’t have one already. Hope this answers yours and others’ questions. Oh—two more things—1) DON’T wear any lotion (you and subsequent girls will slip and fall off the pole), and 2) make sure your costume won’t get in the way and trip you. I watched a girl rip her floor length open-front robe on her heel when she was swinging around the pole. Those things are $100 and up, too!!!

Thanks for visiting and don't forget to sign my guestbook at the bottom of the page. (I'm very excited that I got a free counter!!--see below!!)
Keep in touch,
Diana

Sunday, December 16, 2001

It Takes Money to Make Money
I grossed $230 dollars last night, my first true, eight-hour night back dancing. But wait... Since it was a Saturday night, there was an extra-large "lease fee" (payment that goes to the house, basically for your leasing of their establishment to ply your trade) of $33 IF you arrived before opening at 7:00pm; the fee goes up the later you arrive. Next there is the tip-out: 10% of your net (I hope it's not supposed to be your gross) goes to the deejay, and $3-5 goes to the "housemom," who is on the floor and backstage to keep all the dancers safe and well-informed. Then there are the "features." This is the god-awful times during the night when you have to sell the club's merchandise--golf towels, caps, oxford shirts, collar golf shirts, sweat shirts, etc.--for a fee which also buys you a table dance. Three of our four features last night had the dancer charge $25, with a whopping $20 going back to the house. The fourth (the oxford and collar shirts) was $35 (!) with a $25 fee going back to the house. It was excruciating. I only sold two of my four items. But wait, there's still more to pay back to the house!!! When the dancers are done for the night, the valet brings their cars to the front and warms them up (it was chilly last night). This costs $4. During the night, I tipped three dancers at the stage, which was purely voluntary (they were sweet to me), which cost $3. So, as a result, I have, on the table in front of me, $127. I had to return a total of $100 back to Pure Gold.

I must say in the club's defense, though, that weekdays seem to take much less of a bite out of the dancer. I'm going back to dance Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of next week, and the house fee for the 4 to midnight shift is only $3, as opposed to $33. Plus, there are fewer "features" to sell. Ugh. Hated that.

Well, this is enough of a report for now. I took a muscle relaxant about an hour ago and I'm very groggy, so I'll pick up later on the rest of the experience. Just know that MY FEET HURT! -Write me if you're reading this, and let me know what you think...
-Diana

Thursday, December 13, 2001

Da Contest
So I did the contest Tuesday night at Pure Gold, and I lost. There were four of us: Emily, Mocha, Georgia, and me. We were each a different type, Emily a limber blonde; Mocha's skin tone was as her name implied with freckles and a cute brown afro; Georgia was a tan, busty, glamorous brunette; and I a tall, pale redhead. Georgia won, and there weren't second or third place prizes given out. :( I had thought that the audience would get to decide (not that they would've picked me), but instead there were two male judges, both in the entertainment/hospitality business. Oh well. It was actually a good experience for a lot of reasons, though. I had worked here three years ago and now got to see the huge improvements in the club's decor and offerings. The champagne lounge is actually finished and was well used Tuesday night. Couch dances there were definitely more high-mileage than the floor table dances. The waitresses wear cute skimpy dance-type costumes instead of the shapeless gold lycra slip-dresses they had been wearing before I left. Once upon a time they wore cute tailcoats and fishnet stockings. What happened to those, I wonder? Anyhoo, as I walked off stage, kind of sweaty from only two songs, I said to myself, "I had forgotten how freakin' hard this work is."

My experience dancing after three years' without six-inch heels was eye-opening. Today I am sore in my quads, right above the knee. Although I was not self-conscious when I had to take my dress off (I thought I might be), I should really have been MORE conscious than I was. I realized afterward that I didn't hold my stomach in. And maybe I waggled my ass a little too much, but hey--I'm proud of it. I was pleased to see, too, that all the dancers had at least a little bit of cellulite. This made me feel a tad less insecure. Certainly, I must have been the oldest dancer there, and I'm not sure at this point if the audience was seeing this too. Three years ago, they would think I was in my early twenties, while I was in fact ten years past that. Now, I'm 36. That's right, 36. So, I hope I've held up as well as I think I have.

The shaving was the worst part of the preparation, I've gotta tell you. And now I have razor bumps that are just a sucky side-effect of the business. Oh well. You know, leaving some hair there might have helped the t-bar stay in place a little better--it slipped around so much that eventually I was afraid to spread my legs for fear of breaking the law! I need to dig out my bikini bite (sticky stuff that you use to affix the clothes to the skin) before I go back.

And speaking of going back, I guess I'm going to start back working at PG on Saturday night and see how long I can handle it. I have to say that the dancers who were working there Tuesday night were really, really nice to me. Tiana, who worked there even when I did, is still there looking incredible.

Is there anyone out there?? Write if you read this!!
-Diana

Tuesday, December 11, 2001

Da Cop-out
Okay, this is the second try at composing this post; blogger ate my words the first time
I couldn't go do the contest at Thee Doll House because the weather was so freakin bad! I was really paranoid about driving 60 miles there and back through a cold rain, with another gal in the car with me. And I cancelled my motor club last week, too (Amoco Motor Club screwed me one too many times. I'm going with AAA now. I mean as soon as I get my ass on the phone with them). So, safety prevailed tonight.

I will, however, do the contest at Pure Gold in Cary Tuesday night (sadly, it's already Tuesday for me--yawn!). I used to work there and know more about the contest--two songs, second topless. I can wear my nice new boots to this contest and maybe get some Christmas-present cash! I'm thinking about doing a contest at a Durham club, Teaser's Palace , but it may be just too far of a drive. I've got to call and find out what the cash prize is. I've heard that their stage is on floor level with the patrons, which seems odd to me. Isn't much of the appeal of watching strippers running your eyes up their long legs and peeking under their skirts?

So, I hope the Pure Gold thang is a go. Should have more to report later. I'm also going to check out a new-ish (reopened really) club in my area to see if I could do the contest there. It is difficult to do contests in my hometown for two reasons: they seem to be rigged, and I sometimes know the patrons professionally. If my "moonlighting" got around, I'm afraid I might get hurt. I will visit local strip clubs with my honey for a drink and an occasional dance, and I know several dancers and waitresses with whom we hang out, but I've only done local contests a couple of times, with curious results. Yeah, yeah, so I didn't win. But the girls who were winning were really skanky!

Please email me if you're out there! And p.s., check out The Ultimate Strip Club List, a site that I think is one of the best resources for locating strip clubs all over the world.
-Diana

Sunday, December 09, 2001

More Prep...
Took several days off from posting and now I have catching up to do.

Had to return my new two-piece outfit to store because the stitching was coming out on the corset. I was pretty upset because it was the only one of that number in a small. This meant I had to go through the outfits I already had to choose an amateur contest ensemble.

I called Thee Doll House to see what their rules are for the Monday night contest. Here are some of the pertinent ones, one of which has me a little weary already:
- There must be three contestants to make the contest a go. They give $500 TOTAL in prize money; $250 to first place, $150 to second, and $100 to third.
- All contestants dance at the same time on the same stage for THREE SONGS. This is different from the other contests I've done, where they let each one prance around alone to at least one if not two songs and then bring them all out together. Here's the progression of the 3-song bit: First song, fully clothed (which is standard for exotic dancing period). Second song, take off bottoms/skirt and dance in top and t-bar (never heard of this for a WHOLE song). Third song, take off top and dance topless in t-bar only. This will be very strenuous for me; I haven't danced three songs without stopping in three years. Two was typically my limit even when I was fit.
- Contestants get into the club free and have to be there by 11 or 11:30, as the contest begins at midnight.

I think the costume progression thing bothers me maybe more than the three-song total. Not all dancers have three-piece outfits, and not many three piece outfits are that attractive anyway! I have several beautiful dancing dresses under which I simply wear a t-bar. Why would I want to ruin the line of the top of the dress with some kind of triangle- or tube-top? Anyhoo, I went through my wardrobe and found two contenders: 1) a green sparkly halter mini-dress, under which I'd wear a black satin merry widow corset, a black t-bar, and black thigh-highs with my new patent lace-up boots; or 2) a plaid mini-skirt and pink oxford shirt (school-girl style) under which I'd wear a white lace bra and white and silver t-bar, accented by white knee socks and white platform sandals (which do not fit me well, by the way). I tried both the ensembles on for a trusted friend, who said that the merry widow style was out of keeping with the green sparkly dress--that is, every element of an ensemble needs to fit with the other elements. I agreed, of course. We decided together that the "schoolgirl" thing was the better bet. However, the white lace bra (which I got in Paris in 10th grade, actually) might give me underwire lines on my skin, and I knew from experience that a black light didn't make it glow like the other white pieces of that outfit (t-bar and knee socks). So, I'll just wear the pink shirt with no bra underneath. So here's the lineup: first song, skirt, shirt together; second song, shirt and no skirt; third song, t-bar. We shall see how that goes. Oh, and a white lycra garter, too. Must collect all generous tips efficiently.

Yes, I keep griping about having to dance three songs, but here's one other snag: the damn white shoes I have. I sold my other pair of white shoes on eBay to a guy who likes to buy platform shoes that show that a foot has been wearing them (darkening of toe prints, etc.)--don't laugh--he and others pay good money for this sort of thing. These shoes came from mail order and didn't fit well from the get-go, and so were on their way to being just another eBay sale of that sort, but now I'll have to enlist them to actually dance in. For three damn songs. Owww. And those new black boots are soooo comfortable. Okay, now I really am whining. Can you sense my brows wrinkling and my lower lip trembling?

The contest is tomorrow night; I'll be there at 11:30, I guess, with a younger female friend for moral support. Tonight I'll have to do my nails and tomorrow I'll shave the t-bar area. Wish my feet and me luck!
-Diana